Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tears on my pillow

This is a great illustration of many of my dream-full nights.

From Garfield Minus Garfield

Just pretend John Arbuckle is me!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Celestial Body Image

I woke from a disturbing dream last night that left me too anxious to go back to sleep.

There I was, joyfully wedding a good friend of mine. She and I mingled happily amongst our loved ones.

We looked great and so in love!

Then when the crowd dwindled and the DJ played "Happy Trails" the maks was lifted from our union.

Turns out my friend turned wife was disgusted with my very person!

"You are so fat and gross, I do not even want to touch you!"

Then she said: "You are greasy and gooey!"

And: "Who could ever be attracted to someTHING like you?"

I was crushed and confused. Here I thought we were in love. And big is beautiful! The Cass Eliot episode of Scooby Doo is my favorite!

I woke up from the dream utterly frantic. I shook my poor husband awake and begged him to confirm that I was beautiful and attractive and sexy.

I even went so far as to ask him to list my attractive qualities!

Nothing like being woken up at 4am to validate your love to your wife.

Poor guy. He is so patient with me.

And HE loves me.

And I like boys anyway (sorry girls!).

Saturday, May 10, 2008


My husband said that last night I was talking in my sleep...and our cat was talking back to me!

Not our cat, but "Hello!"!

Maybe all this time I have been a cat whisperer and did not even know it!

Or maybe Ginger just wanted me out of "her" bed!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

He hears the secrets that I keep

My husband informed me this weekend that I create an indescribable noises deep in the night.

He awoke at an hour when we are both normally out cold (maybe 8am?) and he found me speaking in a foreign tongue as I slept.

He said it was a combination of the English language dialect of "gibberish" and common snoring.

I suppose it sounded like the low octave rumbling of analog AM radio seeking?

I suggested that we set a recording device one night and try to decipher it the next day.

Maybe we could play it backwards and hear Led Zeppelin or something?

Attention, erm, seeker?

I thought my post below regarding my dream life as a phone sex operator would spark huge hits to the blog. Sex sells, right??


As you can see in Table 1, blog hits are holding steady at more than zero and far less than some!

I just had to say that I am impressed.

Way to go humanity! Thanks for helping me feel better about you!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Racking up the feedback

The other night I dreamt that I was a phone sex operator(?) who was stacked like Dolly Parton.

Apparently in my dreams the phone sex operators fit the part! Unlike in reality:


I was in a heated competition with my colleagues to get in the most calls in one day.

The problem was that my client, [cough], were so pleased with my, um, services that they wasted time thanking me and gracing me with praises:

Despite my customer satisfaction rates, I was fired from my job.

Go figure.

I wake knowing that in my dreams I am good at phone sex, so I've got that going for me....

Or not: