This happens to me all the time.

"Thanks subconcious"

From: http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/

Tears on my pillow

This is a great illustration of many of my dream-full nights.

From Garfield Minus Garfield

Just pretend John Arbuckle is me!

Celestial Body Image

I woke from a disturbing dream last night that left me too anxious to go back to sleep.

There I was, joyfully wedding a good friend of mine. She and I mingled happily amongst our loved ones.

We looked great and so in love!

Then when the crowd dwindled and the DJ played "Happy Trails" the maks was lifted from our union.

Turns out my friend turned wife was disgusted with my very person!

"You are so fat and gross, I do not even want to touch you!"


Then she said: "You are greasy and gooey!"


And: "Who could ever be attracted to someTHING like you?"


I was crushed and confused. Here I thought we were in love. And big is beautiful! The Cass Eliot episode of Scooby Doo is my favorite!


I woke up from the dream utterly frantic. I shook my poor husband awake and begged him to confirm that I was beautiful and attractive and sexy.

I even went so far as to ask him to list my attractive qualities!

Nothing like being woken up at 4am to validate your love to your wife.

Poor guy. He is so patient with me.

And HE loves me.

And I like boys anyway (sorry girls!).

Racking up the feedback

The other night I dreamt that I was a phone sex operator(?) who was stacked like Dolly Parton.

Apparently in my dreams the phone sex operators fit the part! Unlike in reality:

Anyway.....

I was in a heated competition with my colleagues to get in the most calls in one day.


The problem was that my client, [cough], were so pleased with my, um, services that they wasted time thanking me and gracing me with praises:



Despite my customer satisfaction rates, I was fired from my job.

Check out more of these cartoons!

Go figure.

I wake knowing that in my dreams I am good at phone sex, so I've got that going for me....


Or not:

Civic Duty

Last night I dreamt that I was traveling to work via a tour boat not unlike the one I boarded to tour the Thames.

If only this is how I got to work each day!

When I reached port I took a short cut path through some brush, the road less traveled.


My choice did make all the difference because just off the path I saw an unidentified but out of place piece of junk:


I suppose since it was Arbor Day, I picked up this piece of junk and took it to work.

At work a mish mosh of past and present co-workers from my real life all let me know that the government was looking for that piece of junk. Turns out it was a vital missile prototype that could cause great danger.

Leave it to the government to develop a missile that rouses giant gorillas!

It also turned out that the government was offering a $5,000 reward for the thing! All right!


Now comes the anxiety point in the dream: All I wanted to do was get down to the government and turn in the missile junk to get my cash money, but I had too much work to do. All my co-workers kept bugging me and piling things up on my desk, things like:

Stacks of paper

Dirty dishes

Gifts that needed wrapping

And piles of babies

Just another day at the office getting in the way of my government pay out!